Words From my Wonky World…
From an outsiders perspective, I’ve always been a little eccentric, a little left-of-field, a lot of je ne sais pas, now add a coupl’a years that have been quite cheerfully defined as wonky. It has emerged as being quite a unique disposition to sally forth with in the face of adversity. However, all to be told, my philosophical notion that Adventuring clarifies living in itself combined with my proclivity to But really, even in the old wide and wonderful world, with the mystery and nuance, the riddle and waft and webbed words; I’ve achieved far more than any one could ever really know, or even understand, I suppose… Nevertheless, I have thoughts to share; ideas, impressions, observations. Trying to find a way to express my wisdom and my perception through my struggle, in my own little world.
It is 3 years ago from today that my husband, Simon, and I were in a rather diabolical car accident. The most damage injury that I have weathered is the ABI, an Acquired Brain Injury. There is still a portion of our life’s Adventures that we still need to ride out, but only a couple of years. The last 3 years have really been incredible! Having had a Brain Injury has obviously changed my whole outlook on the world, as well as the impression of the world impacted on me differently. It is remarkable. Such an extraordinary journey! Oddly to many, there are very few aspects of the accident that I have any anger or despair about.
Having been eccentric for as long as anyone can remember, so my being has continued to be quirky, and even quirkier. I have drawn on the now well known reference ‘lightness of being’ from Milan Kundara’s* novel to framework in how I would like to be able to express and communicate my experience, my impressions, my observations… It is a thoroughly thematic adventure in one’s life. The quirks that inundate one’s life become fresh, inspiring and bountiful on many days, but there are always going to be the moments that are devastating and demoralizing. Those patches are neatly surmised as ‘Tricky Business’ when one’s fight with Adversity is on. As life can deal out, before the accident, I had come face to face, challenged and under assault by Adversity. On many occasions. And I do believe I have nailed most of those to the wall.
With that in mind, I was well equipped and tenacious to tackle, tally and tough out the quirky and quirky lightness of being that I have. Nevertheless, I must impress upon you that the quiddity of the lightness of being is intended to be kept well in one’s mind. The essence of my Recovery has the lightness as a fundamental frame of reference, and thus is quintessentially the core of all that I intend to share with everyone as most articulately as I can. My ABI has been an effervescent melody, that has managed to weave, weft and at one with an illusive, distressing and often just down right nasty Chorus.
In knowing that life is riddled with fleeting moments of all and every element of pain and pleasure, laughter and loss, delight and despair is to truly embrace and banter with the ethereal subtlety that is fragile as equally as it is impermeable; that is the beginning to make sense of how and why lightness is upheld and accepted as one is being. Despite it feeling unsettling and frightening to go forth with my Blog, it is, in fact, a moment in time. Et voilá! All the pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place, I am thus ready to take the next step. Or next step, hop and jump!
I will finish today by adding my first post on my old Blog; Wonky Words. (www.wonkywords.wordpress.com) I didn’t have any readers, nor expected to, but I would like to include those post. They are both poignant and profound from the wonky world of mine then. I genuinely embraced sheer, pure happiness and buoyant exuberance. Delightful discoveries and feeling free just to be me, no matter how wonky I was!
(This took about 7 hours to write, and I am still proud as punch with my first effort here and everything that I have written since.)
To wake up one day and find everything to be wonky is an unusual day indeed. However, you know that things have been some what amiss for a little short while, a tad odd, definitely fine, and not at all strange, then a day arrives when it is quite right, and really quite helpful, to sum things up: wonky.
It is actually very neat to arrive so calmly with understanding pleased as punch, because the quirkiness is best shared. Thoughts are just, descriptions in kind, observations are interesting and feats, established however gleaned.
One thing that is for sure, every day is an adventure. So, acceptance in kind is worthy, certainly, but advisable, please. Being kind is a pleasure, and gentle is so very, very lovely and admirable it seems.